Testing the water of life ...
A thorough scientific investigation
carried out by the
Royal Recklinghausen Academic Mountaineering Society
The following remarkable message called <The Daily Yomiuri> has been posted at flefo, the famous foreign language forum at compuserve:
There is an interesting article about the personal factor in learning a non-native language at:
including this statement:
"Alexander Guiora, professor emeritus at the University of Michigan, did
his best to understand how language learning is affected by altering the
mind. In careful experiments, he found that students' pronunciation of a
previously unknown language is improved by hypnosis and alcohol (the alcohol
effect peaked at 1-1/2 drinks). Although Guiora could not responsibly recommend
hypnosis or alcohol for general use on students, he did feel he had discovered
that the mind can be altered to improve language learning."
I am seeking funding for a series of experiments designed to determine which
drinks favor the learning of which language. My starting points would be:
Am. English: Jack Daniels
Br. English: Newcastle brown ale
Dutch: Hollands gin
Gaelic: Glen Fiddich
etc. and then carry on from there.
Of course, these statements have immediately caught our attention
and stirred our members' curiosity to such an extent that many a cat lost
its life. Moreover, we did think we should vigorously support Derek seeking
funding for his series of experiments by plunging into this matter. Apart from that, we
were a bit suspicious whether Glen Fiddich might actually be the best choice
to improve language learning when a celtic language is concerned ...
Thus, on the occasion of our autumn meeting on 2nd October 2004, we started a proper
scientific investigation and carefully looked at what a variety of single
malts can do to you when learning Welsh. Now see for yourself what learners can expect, and what we can
People were all treated with a different single malt. Hypnosis was carried
out using a Karstadt pocket watch. (Company seems to be in need of some name
dropping.) All vocabulary was taught using the repeataftermeandontyoudaregigglinglanguagelearning
method. 10 minutes later everyone had to undergo the written exam (see below).
And here´s the ultimate celtic languages test in full detail (answers not included):
bore da _______
da iawn _______
These are the language learning scores
depending on the digestion of the specified single malts:
Craggenmore 80 %
Edradour 70 %
Talisker 50 %
Tomatin 45 %
Glenlivet 35 %
Bunnahabhain 30 %
Glenfiddich 30 %
Some comments on the scores:
Glenlivet was actually tested by two people who have been cheating. That´s
why their score was halved. Tomatin was checked by our vice-president who
has a profound and protuberant, if not proverbial and prowling knowledge
of the language. So this score was halved, too.
To your health!